Bernie mac beat your kids

Unfortunately, she died of cancer, and his grandmother took over guardianship when he was The upbringing was strict. His grandfather was a Baptist deacon. While in high school, Mac met his wife, and the two married shortly after graduating.

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His first jobs included a janitor, a mover, and a school bus driver. Eventually, he worked for General Motors. He was 20 years old at the time. In , GM fired him. He and his wife had to move back in with family to make ends meet. The comic just kept plugging away, and it paid off. By the following year, he featured in the Def Comedy Jam.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The guy was killing it. The single camera shots and documentary feel proceeded The Office, Parks and Recreation , and others like it. He bluntly riffs about marriage and the trials of child rearing. The comic excelled at observing a situation and finding a resolution.

His delivery was direct and confrontational. For instance in an early Def Comedy Jam performance, the comedian noticed remixes at the time were becoming more popular than the original. After taking the kids to the movies, Las Vegas-bound Bernie is further delayed by scenes that grow out of what they saw there, but weren't supposed to see. Upset after seeing Rock get preferential treatment at a doctor's office, Bernie's blood boils even more when his poker buddies fall all over his fellow comic, who drops by to tell Bernie that they will be co-hosting an awards show.

That's not cool with Bernie, who maintains that back in their early days as stand-ups, Chris once told a joke on stage that Bernie had told him just moments before. The situation comes to a head when they're booked on Leno, who's unaware of the rift between the two. Bernie uses principles of chess to check the kids' desires, but Jordan's no pawn as he moves to achieve his goal: a paintball gun! After enrolling his kids in a slew of extracurricular activities, Bernie suddenly finds his own free time disappearing when he is selected to be an activities suprvisor.

Bernie's sister, Benita, comes to visit, and all havoc starts.

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She first tells Bryana that she cannot play Snow White in the school play because she is black. She also buys a cell phone for Vanessa, that Bernie did not allow. Meanwhile, Jordan is obsessed with Benita when she walks around the house in her robe. Wanda's parents, Lloyd and Leora, visit the Mac household.

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Bernie and Wanda first think the visit will be good for the kids. But Lloyd and Leora start to give them more then they bargained for when hey start to criticize Bernie and Wanda's parenting skills. Bernie and Wanda decide to let the grandparents take care of the kids and leave for several hours.

When they return, Bernie and Wanda tell Lloyd and Leora how they feel and decide the best thing is for the grandparents to leave. When Vanessa finds out, she is very upset because Leora did not tell her parents that a boy kissed her.

Everyone makes up and decide to leave parenting to Bernie and Wanda. Bernie finds out Jordan has never had a birthday party. He can't believe his mom never gave him one. He decides to give Jordan a very special 10th birthday. Jordan gets excited and as he hands out the invitations at school, finds out another boy, Billy, is having a birthday party on the same day.

Since Billy's birthday theme was more interesting, the kids tell Jordan they will not be going to his party. Bernie calls Billy's dad to try and work something out but Billy's dad is not very cooperative.

Bernie hires a party planner and they decide to have an alien birthday party with a surprise at the end. The kids really want to know what the surprise is, so they plan on going to Jordan's party. Billy's dad calls Bernie to talk about this but Bryanna answers the phone. Upset because Jordan was getting a better party then she did, she tells Billy's dad the surprise is an alien. Billy's dad tells all of the kids and on the day of Jordan's party, no one shows up. Jordan tries out for the basketball team, but the coach decides he is better suited for gymnastics -- as a ribbon dancer.

Meanwhile, Wanda coaches Bryana's soccer team and turns her into a lean, mean soccer machine. When a litigious neighbor asks Bernie to tear down the treehouse he built for Jordan, it leads to an all-night standoff. Meanwhile, a relentless Bryanna tries to put a bumper sticker that represents her good grades in school on Wanda's car, but Wanda tries different ways to put the sticker anywhere but on her car.

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Bernie tries to instill a sense of old-school Christmas tradition in the kids but when they become obsessed with gift-getting Bernie decides to cancel Christmas altogether. Meanwhile, new Senior VP Wanda overcompensates for her promotion by trying to find a gift for everyone on her staff which distracts her from catching the Christmas spirit. When Bernie lands the dramatic lead role of a stroke afflicted former track star, he has a hard time convincing everyone he has the chops to be a serious dramatic actor and reaches out to Angela Bassett for acting advice.

Since Bernie is working and cannot care for the kids after school, Wanda must put the younger kids into daycare at her work. Upset at being stuck with a bunch of babies, Jordan leads a child rebellion where the kids escape daycare and wreak havoc on the office. Meanwhile, Vanessa pretends to be poor, so that Teri, a girl at school, will like her. But the plan backfires when Teri finds out that Vanessa is lying and that she is really Bernie Mac's niece. Bernie finds out that Jordan has been getting haircuts with Wanda and the girls at a beauty salon and decides it's time to take him to Bernie's favorite barbershop downtown so Jordan can learn to be one of the guys.

There they talk sports, politics, community and most importantly -- smack. But things backfire when Jordan's first attempt at smack-talking hits a nerve with Earl, the barbershop owner, who throws the two out of his shop. Meanwhile, the girls bond with Wanda when they team up to figure out how to change the batteries in the incessantly beeping home smoke detectors. When Vanessa brings home her first boyfriend, Reggie, Bernie gets to work on scaring the guy off but quickly realizes that Reggie is a good influence on Jordan and could lead him away from bug collecting and into sports and girls.

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Bernie decides he can take advantage of the situation and let Vanessa think she has a boyfriend while also giving Jordan a role model. When this prevents Vanessa and Reggie from spending any alone-time together, Vanessa decides to break up until Bernie uses reverse psychology on her to get them back together. Meanwhile, Wanda decides to clear space in her closet and give some shoes to the Salvation Army, but letting go is harder than she thought it would be.

When Wanda quits her job after getting passed up for a promotion, she tries to re-channel her energies toward Bernie. The togetherness starts to wear thin, however, when she upsets Bernie's writing process as he prepares for his talk show appearance on ""The Ellen DeGeneres Show"".

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Meanwhile, Jordan wants to become friends with the big boys on the block, and figures the best way to do it is to hook one of them up with his older sister, Vanessa. Bernie and Wanda host a Mac family reunion barbecue for about 50 of Bernie's extended relatives who invade L. At first, Bernie is excited and looks forward to bonding with his relatives and strengthening their family ties, but when his Aunt Sis starts to pester him about co-hosting a cooking show with her on the Food Network, cousin Lou starts to harass him, and his older brother Carl questions the way he and Wanda are raising the children, Bernie starts to question why he agreed to host the reunion in the first place.

Meanwhile, Vanessa and Shonte, a distant cousin by marriage, flirt with each other until Bernie informs them that they are more closely related than they thought. Bernie takes a film role because it stars Bryana's favorite character, Droobie, a Barney-like dinosaur. Bryana, unable to separate fiction and reality, is upset with Bernie because he plays the villain in the film and is mean to her cherished Droobie.

She gives Bernie the silent treatment, and his plan to show her that the two are friends goes terribly wrong when Bryana catches him stuffing the Droobie costume into the trunk of a car and thinks he has killed her favorite dinosaur. Meanwhile, Jordan is selling candy bars to raise money for his school but is not having an easy time of it. To ease his pressure, Jordan eats the candy bars and then must come up with a way to pay the school back.

Jordan enters the school spelling contest. Bernie gives him a little advice that humor can help him overcome his fear. But his material proves that Jordan has no place in the comedy business.